Women Embrace Love Again: Healing After Divorce

When Jasmine Siang, now 54, experienced the end of her 12-year marriage at the age of 36, her world fell apart. She had just welcomed her fourth child and found herself navigating the complexities of heartbreak and single motherhood. “I was pushing 40 with four children, but no husband to care for me. I asked myself, ‘Am I still desirable?’ I hated myself for the divorce,” Siang shared. Her story resonates with many women, especially as divorce rates rise. According to the Singapore Department of Statistics, there were 7,382 divorces and annulments in Singapore in 2024, marking a 3.7 percent increase from the previous year.

Despite the emotional turmoil, many women like Siang continue to seek love and companionship after divorce. The journey back into the dating world often presents unique challenges, especially for those balancing career, childcare, and household duties. Violet Lim, co-founder and CEO of matchmaking platform Lunch Actually, notes that many divorced women desire love but struggle to find time for dating amidst their busy lives. “It feels like an extra task in an already hectic life,” she explained.

Overcoming Fear and Shame in Dating

The fear of re-entering the dating scene can be overwhelming. For some, like Zahra, a single mother of two, the anxiety surrounding new relationships is profound. “When I think about meeting other men, I’m scared. I fear that my next relationship will be like my marriage, or that people will judge me for wanting a relationship when I have two kids to care for,” Zahra admitted. Similarly, Sharls Stewart, who separated after two years of marriage, expressed her struggle with trust. “My marriage was traumatic due to a painful betrayal. I fear I’ll never be able to open up,” she said.

According to Anisa Hassan, a professional relationship coach and co-founder of Date High Flyers, these fears often stem from deeper emotional issues. “The pain of broken trust and the vulnerability of opening up can be paralyzing. Many women carry years of learned ideas about love, rejection, and self-worth,” she explained.

The stigma surrounding divorce, especially in certain cultures, compounds these feelings. “For years, I didn’t even call myself a divorcee. I hated the word; it was like a heavy stain that never went away,” Siang recalled. This sense of shame can lead divorced women to feel as though they are unworthy of love, complicating their pursuit of new relationships.

The Path to Healing and New Beginnings

Despite the challenges, experts agree that women can find love again. “Even with all the baggage and fears, women deserve to feel love again,” said Theresa Pong, founder and director of The Relationship Room. Healing is a crucial first step, requiring introspection and self-discovery. “Healing looks different for everyone, but one of the biggest mistakes that many divorcees make is avoiding self-reflection,” Anisa emphasized.

For many, this means confronting past traumas and rebuilding self-confidence. “Building self-awareness includes acknowledging your part in how a marriage ended,” Anisa explained. “Unless you unpack that, the cycle repeats.”

Stewart, who plans to start therapy soon, recognizes the importance of healing. “I want to give myself the space and time needed to heal fully,” she stated. Creating emotional safety is vital, allowing individuals to be vulnerable and open in new relationships. “Finding the right person takes work: understanding our past, our baggage, and even our childhood wounds,” Anisa added.

The evolving perception of divorce is encouraging. Many women now view it not as an end, but as an opportunity for a fresh start. “I refuse to see divorce as the end – it’s just one part of my journey and even the start of something better,” Stewart noted.

In this context, Lim from Lunch Actually highlighted a shift in societal attitudes. “Divorcees should understand that they’re not alone – everyone has their own problems,” she said. Furthermore, recent surveys indicate that more single men are open to dating women with children, appreciating their strength.

For Siang, the prospect of love remains alive. “I don’t want to give up on love. I’ve met a lot of good men – I’m sure I’ll meet the one for me one day,” she said. Her experiences and those of others reveal a profound resilience among women navigating the complexities of love after divorce. As they embrace healing, they also embrace the possibility of finding companionship once again.