Lynette Kua Embraces Self-Love After 12 Years of Hair Struggles

At the age of 29, Lynette Kua has made a bold move toward self-acceptance after years of battling trichotillomania, a psychological condition characterized by compulsive hair-pulling. In October 2024, she chose to shave her head, marking a significant turning point in her journey toward self-love. “I was very tired of wearing something to cover my head and constantly hiding,” Kua stated, reflecting on her decision.

Kua, standing at 1.83 meters, is hard to overlook, and her shaven head adorned with a delicate tattoo draws attention. As a freelance dance instructor, her aesthetic choices have always been striking. Yet, her shaved head represents much more than a fashion statement; it symbolizes the culmination of nearly twelve years of grappling with her mental health.

The Journey Through Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania typically manifests during stressful situations or boredom, leading individuals to pull their hair, as explained by Dr. Lois Teo, head and senior consultant of psychology service at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital in Singapore. The physical effects of the disorder can be particularly distressing, as hair loss is often immediately visible, impacting self-esteem and identity. In a society where long, thick hair is often linked to beauty, Kua faced significant challenges.

While her peers were focused on career advancements and travel, Kua’s primary goal was simply to leave the house without a head covering. Her struggle with hair loss began in junior college, where she experienced academic pressures that led her to seek relief through hair-pulling. “It was the first time in my life where I worked very hard for something (but) couldn’t achieve what I wanted,” she recalled.

Initially, the sensation of pulling her hair provided a temporary escape from stress. However, as the behaviour escalated, Kua found herself in a trance-like state, losing track of time and ultimately damaging her hair follicles. The realization of her bald spots was horrifying. “I didn’t really know what was going on,” she said.

Seeking Help and Finding Alternatives

Kua’s mother initially attributed her hair loss to stress, seeking solutions through various hair-loss clinics, but no medical explanations were found. Eventually, a psychiatrist diagnosed Kua with trichotillomania, which was a relief but also a source of anxiety. Kua felt exposed, as if she could no longer hide her condition. Soon after, she was also diagnosed with depression, which compounded her struggles with school and social situations.

As her condition worsened, Kua began wearing wigs, which provided a temporary solution but also created a sense of confinement. She transitioned to more natural-looking human hair wigs, but the psychological burden remained heavy. “The wigs were both armour and prison,” she explained, highlighting her internal conflict.

Despite the relief that wigs provided, they were costly, with Kua spending over S$1,000 (approximately US$778) on individual pieces. The constant upkeep and the fear of them falling off during activities added to her distress. A particularly embarrassing incident during a dance performance left her feeling humiliated and trapped in her own skin.

In 2022 and 2023, Kua began to pursue dance more seriously, training internationally in South Korea and the United States. However, the discomfort and restrictions of wearing wigs became increasingly apparent. “The wig was restricting me,” she said, leading her to experiment with bandanas instead.

Kua’s shift to bandanas marked a breakthrough. To her surprise, friends embraced her new look, freeing her from the chains of her past insecurities. “That’s when I realized it was all in my head,” she reflected.

By 2024, Kua decided to take the ultimate step and shave her head entirely. The initial shock of her reflection was unsettling, but she quickly found relief in not having to hide anymore. “After shaving my hair, I couldn’t hide behind the way I looked anymore,” she noted.

Despite her newfound confidence, Kua faced new challenges as her mother struggled to accept her daughter’s new appearance. “When I see Lynette suffering and in pain, I am also in pain,” her mother expressed, highlighting the emotional toll on both of them.

Empowering Others Through Experience

In December 2024, Kua traveled to Thailand, where she began conducting interviews with university students about their perceptions of beauty and hair. This initiative was a way for her to connect with others and share her journey. Remarkably, the responses were largely empathetic, with many expressing admiration for her courage.

Kua’s story resonated widely, prompting her to share videos on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram. The response was overwhelming, with many viewers expressing gratitude for her openness. “I could make someone feel less alone – that feels very important,” she stated, recognizing the impact of her experience on others facing similar challenges.

While Kua understands that trichotillomania is a lifelong struggle, she is optimistic about her path forward. “There will be good seasons where you don’t pull for five years or even ten,” she acknowledged, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance over the quest for a cure.

Today, Kua feels a sense of peace with her identity. “I want to look like this. It’s not because I have a hair condition,” she affirmed, reflecting on her transformation. As she continues to share her journey, Kua hopes to foster understanding and compassion for those grappling with mental health issues.

The journey from hiding to embracing her true self has been transformative. With each passing day, Kua not only learns to love herself more but also inspires others to confront their own struggles with authenticity and grace.