Navigating Parenting: A Mother of Five Shares Her Insights

Parenting five children can be a complex journey, yet Kelly Ang, a mother of five aged between two and twelve years, embraces the challenge with unwavering commitment. She emphasizes that it is possible to love each child equally, despite the common belief that having multiple children complicates individualized attention. Ang argues that understanding and respecting each child’s unique needs is crucial in fostering an environment of equal love.

Ang acknowledges the sceptics who claim that a parent can only provide adequate love and attention to a limited number of children. Critics often question how a parent can manage to give each child the individualized care they require. In response, Ang states her approach is rooted in effort and intentionality rather than simply having more resources. She dedicates time to understand each child, which she believes is essential to nurturing their individual personalities.

Equal Love, Unique Treatment

In her household, Ang differentiates between loving her children equally and treating them the same. She elaborates on her parenting strategy by providing tailored support based on current needs. For instance, she spends additional time helping her younger daughter with writing and reading, while also coaching her eldest son, who is preparing for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE). Ang clarifies that this focused attention does not imply a hierarchy of love; rather, it reflects the varying demands of her children’s stages of development.

The ways in which her children express and receive love also vary significantly. One child delights in physical affection, while another appreciates receiving their favourite meals. Ang strives to understand what makes each child feel cherished, believing that love is best expressed through actions that resonate with their individual preferences.

Creating a Unified Family Environment

While Ang treasures her children’s differences, she also instills a foundation of shared values. Honesty, integrity, perseverance, and kindness are principles that guide their family dynamics. Ang ensures that these values apply uniformly to all her children, fostering a sense of fairness and collective identity. Daily rituals, such as sharing stories after school, reinforce their bond and ensure that every child’s voice is heard.

Consistency is another pillar of Ang’s parenting philosophy. She enforces family rules uniformly, such as limiting sweets to weekends, ensuring that even her youngest child understands the importance of these guidelines. When her two-year-old asks for treats during the week, Ang and her older children provide comfort rather than bending the rules.

Ang emphasizes that love does not always equate to equal time spent. Intentionality plays a significant role in her parenting approach. She carves out moments for one-on-one interactions with her children, while also focusing on small gestures that convey her love, such as remembering to pack their favourite snacks or nurturing their creative expressions.

Amid the chaos of raising five children, Ang and her husband have developed a rhythm that accommodates their busy household. Evening routines can be hectic, with children needing attention for various tasks. Ang describes a typical evening where she and her husband tag-team responsibilities, ensuring that each child receives the attention they need before bed. This collaborative approach allows them to share moments of connection, whether through conversation or bedtime stories.

Ang acknowledges that there are challenging days when she struggles to maintain her composure. Nonetheless, she believes that her children understand the depth of her love, which remains constant despite the daily ups and downs. By openly expressing her love and striving to improve as a parent, she reinforces the message that each child is valued equally.

In a world where parenting styles are often scrutinized, Kelly Ang offers a refreshing perspective on nurturing love and understanding within a large family. Her insights highlight that love is not about quantity but quality, demonstrating that even in a bustling household, it is possible to create an environment where every child feels cherished and supported.